This is one of the most personal songs that I have ever written. Though it seems to be directed outward, I wrote the lyrics while staring at my own reflection in the old CRT monitor that was attached to my studio machine. It was one of my most vulnerable moments. My attachment to that feeling and that time was so strong that I was unable to perform the song for a long time. What you see/hear in these lyrics is an exact replication of how I felt, for better or worse. -JJ
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From the start I told myself that I could change
And I would learn to smile again
A fact that we cannot explain
Things look obscured at such short range
And you would laugh one hundred times
And I would never make you cry
You would not lie awake at night
My angry heart would not define
It takes so much to look away
Still I can see your eyes turn gray
All things must ultimately fade
And I will do it all again
If it will take away the shame
Know I have always been this way
And all will burn inside my flame
I am the only one to blame
You die inside, the stars don’t shine
And I will always make you cry
And you will lie awake at night
The sorrow in my heart defines
So walk away, don’t come near me
For I can only make you bleed
And nothing in my soul redeems
Don’t waste your time on building dreams |